CLIENT INFORMATION:
Amy
42 years old
Neuroscientist
SESSION INTENTION:
Relief from being a workaholic. To be more aligned and present. To experience more joy contentment in daily life.
MODALITIES PERFORMED:
- Illumination
- Curse Removal
- Entity Extraction
INITIAL DISCUSSION:
Amy is a self-described workaholic, which is a trait that has served her well in her professional career and ability to support her family. However, she feels there is an imbalance and a level of addiction to work that prevents her from living fully. She desires to be more aligned and present and to have more of a social life, but finds it hard to prioritize, always putting work first.
Throughout her life, Amy has been very judgmental of herself which has limited her. People-pleasing behavior and always calculating “what is the absolute best way” to do something has left her feeling inhibited and self-editing, blocking her authenticity. She wants to move past this, to feel more free and to have "untethered joy". She has a strong desire to develop more presence within herself but finds it challenging to access. Recently she experienced this presence, being in a "flow state" when immersed in an artistic project. Amy found the experience to be very interesting and amazing, wanting to cultivate it more often.
Amy’s father has always been emotionally dismissive and unsupportive, due in large part to his inability to overcome his own traumatic upbringing. Because of this, it's been important to her to provide an emotionally supportive environment for her son. Seeing how this has allowed her son to be so free, expressive and authentic makes her feel great! Yet at the same time, she admits that her inner-child feels envious and somewhat resentful for what she didn't get in childhood. She admitted that the pain her father passed on to her, gave birth to all her passions and a strong drive to support children in her career, which is a very profound insight and I believe will be a key part of what will help her on her journey of healing.
PRESENTING ISSUES:
- Workaholic
- People-pleasing
- Disconnected
- Lack of authenticity
- Self-editing /inhibited
- Inability to feel present
CHAKRAS EFFECTED:
- 4 (heart)
- 5 (throat)
SESSION:
4 - Heart Chakra / 5 - Throat Chakra:
After testing the chakras to see which were most effects by this issue, I asked where specifically does the unease / inability to be present originate from. I sensed that this and the anger and resentment she feels pop up from time to time is connected to a deeper subconscious feeling of rage that has been passed on ancestrally on her dad's side, particularly his mother, Amy's grandmother. It's a generational issue that has found its way to her. This happens when our ancestors are unable to move past their wounds, it creates an energetic disturbance that is carried on through the line.
I discovered that there was an ancestral curse put on her dad's side of the family related to her Jewish heritage during the time of the holocaust. While I knew Amy was Jewish, I did not have any knowledge of her family's history during that time. Amy's family was able to escape, however many friends were left behind, one in particular held extreme feelings of rage and envy towards her family and set an intentional curse on them. Deep regrets about what could have been, a life not lived, with the intent of never wanting her family to have a sense of peace or to feel settled in life were the intentions of this curse. I saw two energetic egregores, black eel-like, around her heart, one representing "rage" and the other "envy". I was able to remove these and transmute the dense energy surrounding the area. I was also able to unravel the curse and alchemize residual energy originating from it.
SUMMARY:
The information I received in the session revealed that when Amy is able to access the present moment, these inherited feelings of rage and envy arise, seemingly out of nowhere. This is the core wound. Subconsciously, her psyche avoids this by distraction, escaping into work, where she feels "safe". But avoiding these feelings is what is keeping her stuck, from fulling experiencing and enjoying life. Though she is able to bypass it all when she accesses higher states of consciousness though meditation, yoga or art, the general unease and inability to feel present will still be a struggle until she fully releases these stuck energies.
With the ancestral curse removed, and much of the dense energies released, Amy is in a better position than ever to finally heal and move past these things that have plagued her her whole life. Continuing to meditate, practice being in the present moment even when it’s difficult, and to let uncomfortable feelings arise - will continue to help her move through these stuck energies and to find the peace and contentment, authenticity and joy that she desires.
HOMEWORK / INTEGRATION WORK:
1) Keep moving your body and doing yoga, this is a form of energy release and transmutation.
2) Schedule time in your calendar specifically to meditate, make it part of your day.
3) When unpleasant feeling arise, stay there, don't distract yourself. Let the feelings come up, and move through you. Don't hold back anger, sadness, envy or any other "bad" feeling - these need to be expressed to release the energy from our body.
CLIENT FEEDBACK:
During the session, Amy reported that felt a lot of emotions arise to the surface, and then a general sense of peace. She also admitted that she saw two dark eel like creatures during the session, which matched exactly how I saw them.
When sharing the details of my findings with Amy, she immediately felt a connection to this energy originating with her grandmother and father, and impacting others in the family as well. She confirmed the family's experience during the time of the holocaust and shared other atrocities they experienced. The deep sense of never being able to feel at peace, always "waiting for the other shoe to drop" and extreme anxiety and anger has plagued the members of this family their whole lives, particularly her grandmother, dad and uncle. Because of this, it has created more generational turbulence, including what Amy experienced with her father growing up. She also said that in general, anti-semitism has been coming up A LOT for her recently, she's felt very impacted by it and everything going on in the world right now.
Amy reported that she felt lighter and calmer that night and the days following, able to be more at peace and joyful with her family. She said the session helped her to understand family neurosis, how they're always paranoid, guilty-feeling and with "sharp and pointy" anxiety. She also said she had a lot more compassion for her dad when visiting him on a trip the following week, which she had not experienced before.
The expanded viewpoint of her father and grandmother's experiences and the residual effects to her, has allowed Amy to see her story in a new way and brought her a level of understanding and sense of peace that she hasn't felt before, even with years of therapy. This has evolved her understanding and thus relationship with other members of that side of the family as well, where she previously judgmental. She’s also more committed now than ever to setting aside time to do the things she knows help her to cultivate a sense of presence and flow. She’s also shared this work with her therapist for further healing and integration. This was our first of five sessions together.
