CLIENT INFORMATION:
Heather
41 years old
Occupational Therapist
SESSION INTENTION:
Improved self-worth and relationship to money. Finding life’s purpose and to stop playing small. A greater sense of self-worth.
MODALITIES PERFORMED:
- Illumination
INITIAL DISCUSSION:
Heather has been on a healing journey for awhile now and her physical health has slowly improved. She's also been on a spiritual path, looking to connect more with her intuition. This is our fourth session together. After previous sessions, Heather reported that doing this work has allowed her to connect more with herself, be open to new possibilities and open up to her own self-guidance.
Money, self-worth and finding her life's purpose are continuing themes that Heather struggles with and feels are part of her life’s journey to heal and move past. There's also an aspect of "being small" that she's always felt deep down and wants to overcome.
Professionally, Heather has been feeling burned out in her business and has started to think about other career possibilities. She specializes in cranialsacral therapy, which is a form of energy work that fits well under the occupational therapy umbrella, however it’s a little known modality. She very much enjoys this aspect of her work, but feels drained when people don't understand what it is or the benefits. Heather often contemplates radical life changes, such as moving to a farm, or another state and opening up an ice cream shop, but wonders if it's more the idea of "the grass is always greener" that peeks this interest versus what is practical or would truly be satisfying. While her business ebbs and flows, lately it has felt unusually slow and clients haven’t been responding as usual– canceling last minute, not returning emails or calls and not booking additional sessions, which is uncommon for her and causing her to worry that business is drying up, not just temporarily slow.
PRESENTING ISSUES:
- Money worries
- Lack self-worth (playing small)
- Life’s purpose
- Lack of self-compassion
- A sense of over-responsibility felt towards her dad
CHAKRAS EFFECTED:
- 1 (root)
- 2 (sacral)
- 4 (heart)
- 5 (throat)
SESSION:
1 - Root Chakra:
I saw a scene of violence, it was Mary but not this lifetime. This was related something with her dad, in another life. The question arose, "why do you feel so responsible to him and his expectations?" It’s time to release this!
Heather's life flow is blocked without her creative expression.
The next questions arose, "what beliefs did your dad put on you about creativity and worth or life in general? Where was your creativity blocked?"
2 – Sacral Chakra:
Helplessness. Lack of personal power.
The first question that came up was, how did Heather's dad disempower her?
I was getting the sense in childhood, that her ideas were deemed "not goo enough" and that she needed to do things "perfect" or in a specific way, according to her dad. This attitude and energy put out towards Heather blocked her from exploring things as a child, giving her this idea of "I have to have all the dots lined up before I can even start anything" which blocked her before she began many things in life. Her dad meant to do this, certainly not to stunt her in anyway. This energy of perfectionism actually originates with her dad and what he felt for himself. This was something that he put on Heather, not something innate to her, but she is running these outdated, inauthentic programs nonetheless.
Ultimately, her dad was trying to protect her, as parents often do (perhaps even retributions from the last life together, but no need to focus on that, healing can occur here and now). This has hindered Heather and her exploration and growth as a child and now as an adult.
“Don’t do that. Don’t play there. You don’t want to get dirty. Just do it this way.” This was all out of love and protection, as in, “don’t make MY mistakes, I want better for you.” But Heather cannot live her dad's life, she cannot make up for his shortcomings. Healing will occur when she can recognize this and break free from this mindset, his mindset. Doing things like being creative for the sake of being creative, versus any sort of result, is a powerful pattern-breaker that will transmute this energy and allow her to move past this hindering mindset.
I saw an image of this beautiful flower that was put in a small pot which stunted its grown, its own unique expansion.
Bring back child-like wonder! Play! Create! Move your body! Just for the sake of it, not for any result and before you have an expectation in mind!
Heather must open up her creativity and sense of awe and wonder about life, it's blocked and that is part of what is keeping her stuck in life. She needs to live for today! To stop worrying about money and focus on herself, not healing, fixing, or doing anything... but simply being. Fun! Joy! Vitality! The lack of these things are what is blocking her. If she can do these things, the energy for what she is looking for, abundance in health and wealth, purpose and passion, will start to flow. It won't come all at once, so she needs not hold any sort of expectation of results, but to trust and go with the flow. Heather also needs to release herself from worrying about her dad's opinion of her, this is much stronger in her subconscious than she realizes.
4 – Heart Chakra:
Heather needs to open herself up to receiving love. Specifically support from her husband, where she's been very self-reliant. She's been very spot on with the "knowings" she's been getting recently. Intuition rarely comes in big billboards, it’s usually small signs. Heather IS listening to herself and this is helping to guide her!
In addition to opening up to receiving love and support from her husband, it would also be helpful to play together, to do things like sports and creative endeavors that they used to do together before kids.
This is all also healing her inner child and setting up a different example / pattern for her kids. Play, fun, enjoy, create together as a family! These things are the are the antidote to the programmed matrix, live for today! This healing is for Heather herself and her family.
I saw an image of her breaking out of this robotic suit, representing the programed matrix “go to work. Make money. Blah. Blah. Blah." It felt like she is well on her way of being free of this robotic patterning.
5 – Third Eye Chakra:
Perfectionism as a child, lack of authentic expression, stunted growth.
Heather can work through this by doing things that make her feel good about herself, intrinsically, not for outside merits. She has been putting in much effort for herself lately, and she's almost at a place where the things she desires will start to fall into place. She's almost there!
SUMMARY:
The personal exploration and healing Heather has been doing the past few years has been working beneath the surface, even though the results may not fully be realized yet. Though it seems to be slow going at times, and sometimes a "two steps forward, one step backwards" pattern, her hard work and effort is paying off. She's almost at a place where the things she desires will start to fall into place. Continuing to keep doing the things she's doing, checking in with herself, letting things flow from her heart, having fun and being creative just for the sake of the moment and to trust in the process, not worrying about the outcome, will bring her to where she wants to be.
HOMEWORK / INTEGRATION WORK:
1) Try taking a 1 month break from worrying about money
2) Cultivate joy, creativity and fun! Be child-like! (Sports? Art? Spontaneity?)
3) Work on receiving love!
CLIENT FEEDBACK:
After the session when sharing my findings with Heather, she confirmed that her dad, although very loving, was controlling of her as a child and even somewhat as an adult, and that it very much stopped her from pursuing many activities in her life. This has been a detrimental pattern since early childhood that has bled into many endeavors of her adult life as well. Although she is somewhat aware of this, she did not realize how much this still holds her back in her life and how it can be correlated to stuck energy that constricts abundance and joy in her life today.
"Thank you, the session was SO helpful. Affirming, supportive and great guidance! I appreciate you so much!"
Later on, Heather shared with me that she came to the realization that her fear around money is that she'll end up on the street and her family won't be safe. But she also realized that has never happened, and that she's always had support, her parents and other family would never allow something like that to happen. While she would never want to lean on anyone in that way, it was a comforting realization that has helped her break the fear pattern knowing that ultimately, her and her family will be ok.
As the weeks went on, Heather told me that she had gotten an influx of clients, specifically the type of clients she prefers to work with, and that a number of them signed up for on-going packages after their first session. She's also partnered with a physical therapist to teach a class together, which is something she's always wanted to do. Heather is also reaching out to other professional to network with and hopes to gain referrals from, which as been a daunting task for her in the past.
Heather is working on doing something creative every day, and staying focused on finding HER way, as opposed to what she's "supposed to be doing." She’s even started “family creative time” where they set aside time as a family just to do something creative. She said she feels lighter and more easeful after the sessions and that the intuitive information that has comes through have brought a new level of awareness to the forefront and that the actionable steps provided with the integration work helps her to stay accountable to her goals.
